Ed Arnold divulges secret family meatball recipe! (and other holiday photos)

Here are some recent holiday photos. I have taken the liberty of adding famous motivational captions to each photo. Enjoy.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
-Edmund Burke-

There are costs and risks to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.
-John F. Kennedy-

I think one's feelings waste themselves in words; they ought all to be distilled into actions which bring results.
-Florence Nightingale-

Drive thy business, or it will drive thee.
-Benjamin Franklin-

You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.
-Irish Proverb-

Lists.

Is this narcissistic?

Here are the best records I bought in the last year or so.

Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
The Dears - Gang of Losers
Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
The Meligrove Band - Planets Conspire
Malajube - Trompe-l'Oeil
Sloan - Never Hear the End Of It
MF Doom - Special Herbs: The Box Set Vol. 0-9
The Strokes - First Impressions of Earth
Al Tuck - My Blues Away

Here are my favourite songs of the year. I am not ashamed of any of these.

Al Tuck - February's Snow
The Dears - Ticket To Immortality
Band of Horses - The Funeral
Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up
Blood Meridian - Work Hard, For What?
Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
Sloan - Fading Into Obscurity

Here are the best live shows I saw this year.

Death Cab For Cutie/Franz Ferdinand @ Pacific Coliseum
I don't even like Death Cab but this show ruled - maybe because Lindsay came with me. I bought the new Franz
Ferdinand record on the strength of their performance. Note: it was better live.

Ladytron/CSS @ Richards
Cathie was right all along. Ladytron are good.

The Dears @ Richards
Is there a better band right now?

Tom Green and the Keepin' It Real Crew @ The Commodore/Elixir in Kingston, ON
The Vancouver show was sold out and hilarious. The Kingston show had ten people in the audience and was hilarious.

Teenage Fanclub @ The Red Room
The number of "classic" awesome singles this band has is unbelievable. They could play five hours and you'd still have
songs to be mad that they didn't play.

Final Fantasy @ UBC Norm Theatre
Totally unique. Songs that are annoying on record sound amazing live. The best use of an overhead projector I have ever
seen.

Sloan @ The Commodore
This is the tightest they have ever been.

Here are the most disappointing records I bought in the last year or so.

Jurassic 5 - Feedback
The Streets - The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living
Willie Nelson - Countryman
Stephen Malkmus - Face the Truth

Here are the best movies I saw this year.

Borat
For Your Consideration
Brick
The Departed
The Devil and Daniel Johnston
Sympathy For Lady Vengeance

Here are the best books I read (or re-read) this year.

Ryan Arnold - The Coward Files
David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Jonathan Franzen - How To Be Alone
Haruki Murakami - The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle/Norwegian Wood (tie)

Here are my favourite food and beverages of the year.

Red Stripe beer
cabbage rolls
Twix bars
Diet Coke
Diet Pepsi
Coke
coffee
Hawaiian pizza
Cath's bocconcini salad

I am glad that this is out of my system. Happy new year, everyone!

Picking Up Babes.

Although I am already spoken for (sorry, ladies!), I still like to help friends out whenever I can with picking up babes. These videos employ a lot of the same techniques I used to land myself a nice gal, and I urge all of you single guys out there to use your own inner "Eagle Eye." Happy hunting, fellas!

Snow day! Snow day!

The Dears pIay a show tonight at Richard's on Richards.

And I didn't have to go to work today, on account of all the snow. Joan and I have spent the majority of the day shirking our responsibilities. We're just two drifters, off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see! We're after the same rainbow's end, waiting 'round the bend... Joan, my huckleberry friend.

Democrats win majority in House, Senate: Joan Continues to Grow at an Exponential Rate

Meet the new speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi.



Joan continues to develop a slightly left of centre political world view. She likes Hilary Clinton in 2008. As for this Belinda Stronach/Ralph Klein thing, don't get her started. Don't even get her started.

David Sedaris.

Last Wednesday, Cath and I went to see David Sedaris read as a part of the Vancouver International Writer's Fest. He's a pretty hilarious guy, and his reading lived up to all of our expectations. This is an essay he read that night; it's from a feature for Esquire Magazine, where they asked him to talk about fashion accessories for men. If you like this you should read his book "Me Talk Pretty One Day." You should read all his books.



"WITH A PAL LIKE THIS, YOU DON'T NEED AN ENEMY."

I’ve always liked the idea of accessories, those little pick-me-ups designed to invigorate what has come to feel drab and predictable. A woman might rejuvenate her outfit with a vintage Hermes scarf or a jaunty rope belt, but the options for men aren’t nearly as interesting. I have no use for cuff links or suspenders, and while I’ll occasionally pick up a new tie, it hardly leaves me feeling “kicky.” Hidden accessories can do the trick, but, again, they’re mainly the province of women. Garter belt and lingerie–yes. Sock garter and micro brief–no.

It was my search for something discreet, masculine, and practical that led me to the Stadium Pal, an external catheter currently being marketed to sports fans, truck drivers, and anyone else who’s tired of searching for a bathroom. At first inspection, the device met all my criteria. Was it masculine? Yes, and proudly so. Knowing that no sensible female would ever voluntarily choose to pee in her pants, the manufacturers went ahead and designed the product exclusively for men. Unlike a regular catheter, which is inserted directly into the penis, the Stadium Pal connects by way of a self-adhesive condom, which is then attached to a flexible plastic tube. Urine flows through the tube and collects in the “Freedom Leg Bag,” conveniently strapped to the user’s calf. The bag can be emptied and reused up to twelve times, making it both disgusting and cost-effective. Was it discreet? According to the brochure, unless you wore it with shorts, no one needed to know anything about it. Was it practical? At the time, yes. I don’t drive or attend football games, but I did have a book tour coming up, and the possibilities were endless. Five glasses of iced tea followed by a long public reading? Thanks, Stadium Pal. The window seat on an overbooked cross-country flight? Don’t mind if I do!

I ordered myself a Stadium Pal and soon realized that, while it might make sense in a hospital, it really wasn’t very practical for day-to-day use. In an open-air sporting arena, a piping-hot thirty-four-ounce bag of urine might go unnoticed, but not so in a stuffy airplane or a small, crowded bookstore. An hour after christening it, I smelled like a nursing home. On top of that, I found that it was hard to pee and do other things at the same time. Reading out loud, discussing my dinner options with the flight attendant, checking into a fine hotel: Each activity required its own separate form of concentration, and while no one knew exactly what I was up to, it was pretty clear that something was going on. I think it was my face that gave me away. That and my oddly swollen calf.

What ultimately did me in was the self-adhesive condom. Putting it on was no problem, but its removal qualified as what, in certain cultures, is known as a bris. Wear it once and you’ll need a solid month in order to fully recover. It will likely be a month in which you’ll weigh the relative freedom of peeing in your pants against the unsightly discomfort of a scab-covered penis, ultimately realizing that, in terms of a convenient accessory, you’re better off with a new watchband.

Joan.

Please allow me to introduce Joan.



Full name is Joan Rivers Mix-Graham.

Likes? So far, scratching the hell out of things, hiding under the couch.

Dislikes? Car rides.

We bought Joan at a pet store on Burrard Street. She cost more than our microfiber loveseat, which is ironic because she is destroying the microfiber loveseat as I write this.

Joan is a blue point Himalayan cat. She may live to be 20 years old, unless she jumps off the balcony while we are at work tomorrow.

I wonder if Joan likes me? What will Joan do all day?

I keep thinking about how Joan has never tasted any fried foods. Would Joan like fried foods?

Yes, Joan is truly a blank canvas. Godspeed, Joan.

high school reunion.

This guy took a picture of himself every day for six years. It seems especially poignant as I head to my ten year high school reunion on Saturday.

Yes sir, one day closer to the old GR.

Oh well.

news & tributes

first, this man installed a new stereo into our 1990 Honda Civic.


he did a nice job, and we are grateful to him for it. my commute now has a beat that just won't back down.

second, the new Sloan record came out on Tuesday. it is great.



there is a song on there, called 'Set In Motion,' that I think you will like. there are a lot of other good songs, too.

is this the season of good records or something? The Dears 'Gang of Losers' also came out recently. it is so good that you'll wish you were associated with it, in some way.

cath and I went to see Final Fantasy at ubc on Tuesday night. it was the best show that I have ever seen that incorporated an overhead projector into it, along with the looping of violin parts. before the show we ate in the "sub" which is the cool way that students say 'student union building.' cath kept getting confused between "sub" meaning 'student union building' and "sub" meaning sandwich. it was kind of embarrassing.

tonight my friend and co-worker Jon Sanders has invited to me to see a "performance" by a disc jockey called Z-Trip. apparently, this Z-Trip fellow takes pre-recorded songs and "mixes" them together, creating an entirely new sound that is pleasing to the ears. we'll see, Jon. we'll see.

i have a new job. if you must refer to me in a professional capacity, please use 'key accounts rep.' as in, i am personally responsible for MORE THAN ONE ACCOUNT.

my ankle has almost healed. the body's regenerative power is truly humbling - not! should this really have taken six weeks? i have been making sarcastic comments to my body the entire time - things like "nice job healing, guy."

finally, i am awaiting the arrival of a new cellular phone. my current cellular phone has not been working for quite some time - apparently it has been having difficulty bouncing digital signals off of a satellite, or something. have any of my acquaintances even noticed that I am incommunicado?

stay cool forever,
DM.

new Sloan "Fading Into Obscurity"

any doubts?

here.

I broke my ankle.

They have fitted me with a robocop-esque boot cast for the next six weeks. I have been sent from the future to look out for truth and justice, etc.

Catherine specific info: please pick up an exfoliating stone and some anti-odour foot cast powder on the way home from work. Bring on the spongebaths!

Sympathy calls appreciated/expected.

Also, I am planning on doing some Jimmy Stewart in 'Rear Window' type voyeurism over the next six weeks from the balcony at the apartment. Does anyone have some high-powered binoculars I could borrow? Does anyone have the number for Meals On Wheels?

Cabin Fever 2006: Heritage Classic at Finchy Dune

It was a brotherhood of twelve men on a frozen pond.

Reverend Alecia

holy cow.

Who Taught You To Live Like That?

Sloan's new single "Who Taught You To Live Like That?" is now available for FREE download at the iTunes music store. A real return to form in my opinion - very Beatles-esque.

'so do you have any pet peeves?'

well, i haven't been writing much in here, so i have decided to treat this like it's a job, where i have a boss and where a certain amount of work is expected to be done. so we are going to start having themes around here and we are going to start dealing with issues.

i think if i wrote for the 'north shore news' or 'burnaby now' or some such small newspaper, i might write a column about pet peeves. the headline would be 'so do you have any pet peeves?' and in the article i would outline my pet peeves, and relate it to the readership with a line like 'we all have pet peeves so we should be aware of them and embrace the diversity of pet peeves in our community.'

maybe i would number them.

1. MISPRONUNCIATION OF KETCHUP, OR SHERBET.
this is when people say "catch-up" or even "kats-up." what are the origins of this pronunciation? and a lot of people love to say "sher-beRt." where did that extra 'R' come from? i really hate this.

2. WHEN PEOPLE LET DOGS LICK THEM ON THE MOUTH.
turn your head and let them lick your ear or the side of your face, please. also, is a dog really 'kissing' you when it licks you? when a dog is licking its genitals would you say it is 'kissing' its own genitals? supposedly they lick their genitals to 'clean' them. but why do dogs care if they have clean genitals, as they often eat their own feces! and why would a dog want to kiss you, or have any concept of what kissing is?

3. RADIO DJ'S WHO USE 'TEASERS' BEFORE GOING TO COMMERCIAL.
do you know what i mean here? when they can't just tell you which song is coming up after the commercial, but they have to make it into a trivia question. like they'll say "coming up after the break, a band who only ate nachos for a year!" or "up next, a singer that used to work as a furniture mover!" and then you wait through the commercial and it ends up being 'ridin' dirty' by chamillionaire.

4. 'RIDIN' DIRTY,' BY CHAMILLIONAIRE.

5. WHEN PEOPLE IN OUR BUILDING COMPLAIN ABOUT THE ELEVATOR BEING BROKEN DOWN (this one is from cath).
although i can't say i am feeling this one as it is pretty annoying when the elevator never works.

so, do you have any pet peeves? maybe leave your pet peeves in the comments section, and if there are any good ones i will put them up for further discussion. and let me know what you think about 'themes' too. tomorrow's theme? probably it will be "initial impressions of the loveseat" or "just how durable is microfiber?" or else "why do people like fireworks so much?"

the new loveseat.

i can't sleep right now. i often have trouble sleeping, but this time it is for a legitimate reason. the new loveseat is being delivered tomorrow!

it is made of 'microfiber,' which means it is highly stain resistant. i will probably watch some great television from the comfort of my new microfiber loveseat. if i melt cheese on a bagel i will eat it on the loveseat, maybe with a bottle of beer.

when it arrives, i wonder, how will my life be different? will i sit more, or will i just sit differently? hard to say. one thing that i think i will do is sit up straight. i can't picture myself slouching as much as i do on our current old couch. but this may pass, as i become familiar with the loveseat.

yes, the loveseat will be here tomorrow. it really is hard to believe.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Elvis wasn't. He had his pills to keep him company.

man oh man.

i can't take credit for finding this, but at the 2:37 mark, there is something you have to see.

It's a Gormsabration!

Come celebrate Gorms as he continues the slow, steady march towards his inevitable death.

Saturday, 9pm onward, Doolin's (Granville at Nelson).

bed, bath... beyond!

first, an apology for the lack of posts recently. i have been concentrating on home furnishings, home decor, and antiquing.

in fact, only yesterday i was rummaging around at a yard sale when i unearthed an absolutely gorgeous brass gilded mahogany end table. the finish was the deepest, most sumptuous oak, and it goes so famously with our teal and chocolate throw pillows that it makes you just want to die. when i saw the table, i actually started trying to slit my wrists with an antique letter opener. this table is that nice. anyway, cath wrestled me to the ground and we ended up getting the table AND the letter opener. life is funny sometimes.

a lot of people have been asking me, "Hey, Dave, what's it like to be engaged?" and I have to say, it's nice. a typical day might begin with your fiancee brewing a pot of organic, shade grown, fair trade coffee (bird friendly, of course). then, probably some antiquing and a cobb salad for lunch. we'll generally hit a couple of home furnishing factory outlets in the afternoon before chopping up some fresh fruits and veggies from the farmer's market for a nice homemade salsa. i remember in my bachelor days, i'd buy salsa at the grocery store. when i think of all the store bought salsa i used to eat, it makes me sick. it really does.

so, as you can probably tell, engaged life agrees with this guy just fine. i would like to thank everyone who took the time to send us a note of congratulations. all the kind words were greatly appreciated. i have printed out all the emails and i am currently in the process of delicately singeing all the edges of the paper to give them a "weathered" look. i am going to display all of these notes in a homemade scrapbook with some pressed flowers on the coffee table. next time you come over, feel free to flip through it. but please, remember to use a coaster.



our new throw pillows, from the "Words to Live By" collection. each pillow is hand-etched by a blind seamstress in Peru with words like "love" or "fidelity." couldn't you just eat them up?

big news.

Yup, it's official. Catherine Graham has officially signed a long term deal. Terms were not disclosed.

We are off to San Francisco for a few days to celebrate. See you for drinks (and more frequent updates) when we get back.

Boston Phoenix 100 Unsexiest Men

Alternative weekly paper The Boston Phoenix recently published its' inaugural '100 Unsexiest Men' list. Being the voracious pop culture reader that I am, I couldn't help myself and took a look at the list.

Number One?

Gilbert Gottfried. Not a surprise.



Number Six?



Dr. Phil. This was not exactly a shocker, either.

And then, at number eighty-four... my heart skipped a beat. It was ME!



DAVE MIX.

It's clear to me now that the editorial staff at The Phoenix have made some sort of terrible mistake. Look at those eyes - gently upturned as if to say "Hold me." The form - as if cut from the finest Corinthian marble. Now, I'm the first to admit that perhaps I don't fit into the trendy definition of sexy. I suppose my "urban outdoorsman" look doesn't fit in with the twenty-first century's androgynous heroin chic beauty ideal. I guess my rough, unkempt and dangerous appeal might frighten some women, and certainly some men. I suppose I may harken back to the golden age of Hollywood, when men were men, and dames were dames.

You know what, world? You can keep your pretty boy Jon Secadas and your delicate Orlando Blooms!

Give me the Cary Grants, the John Waynes, the Humphrey Bogarts of the world!

Give me the DAVE MIXES, damnit.

The entire article is here, if you really want to see it.

The Coward Files

We couldn't be happier to announce that Ryan Arnold's debut collection of short stories, 'The Coward Files,' has been accepted for publication by conundrum press.



Please visit the official site for details. And even though it's not out yet, why not let conundrum press know how excited you are about it?

gorms likes cardinals.

Here is a picture of Gorms holding his pet cardinal, Jeff.



There are three things Gorms really likes about Jeff:

1) His nesting instinct
2) The way he helps control the silkworm population
3) His plumage

Due to his disdain for the eagle, Gorms has been banned from the upcoming Easter Extreme Camping Adventure and Wildie Hunt, or EECAWH.

Say that acronym loudly. "EECAWH! EECAWH!" Sounds like an eagle to me.

Brothers, regale!

As Harlem continues its quest for yet another championship, I thought I would leave you with this stirring image of three brothers.



They are the "power forwards" of the wilderness, friends. Where we seek goals and assists, these brothers seek simply to soar with infinite majesty.

Yet are we really so different? Are we really so far from one another?

prom aftermath.

sometimes they just get things right. as predicted, d. mix and c. graham were named prom king and queen. here is a shot of us just before our coronation...



we had a very good time.

cath has a very solid crew in the limestone city. praise be to sarah, elena, pam, andrew, emily, pat, jeff, mel and victoria for taking excellent care of the kid and being so nice.

here the big c and sarah get down...



this shot is me and cath and sarah at the tom green/keepin' it real crew show in january...



we were featured on famed kingston website barshots.ca... did you ever play that game 'which of these things does not belong'?

in the end, c. graham rules. see you soon kid.

Best records I have bought recently.

Honourable mention to Cat Power 'The Greatest' and Giant Drag 'Hearts and Unicorns' but these kick recent ass.

Islands 'Return to the Sea'



Neko Case 'Fox Confessor Brings the Flood'



The Meligrove Band 'Planets Conspire'



Also we have THE JOEL PLASKETT EMERGENCY May 5th Dicks on Dicks. I have tickets for Yads, Dan and Ed, so if you are not them you better get your ticket.

It's PROM NIGHT!

Tonight is the big Queen's Law prom. There are all sorts of rumours going around that Cath and I may be crowned King and Queen, but I never like to assume anything...

Well, I've got news for you - if it happens, this wouldn't be the first time we've been honoured. Here is a photo of our coronation ceremony at Concordia Prom 2001. Can you believe Cath's hair? It's obvious I've been hitting the gym since then too. Ah, memories.



I'm also excited to meet all of Cath's school chums. Here is a photo of all of them at last year's Fall Harvest Dance (thanks Dave Suchon for the photo). If looks are anything to go by, I think we are all going to have a great night!

Leprechauns! Leprechauns!

Courtesy of the lovely and talented Catherine Graham

some things are just awesome.

this is one of those things

Business trip to Calgary

Continuing my corporate assault on western Canada, today I will be traveling to Calgary. I think of Calgary as "The Prince George of Alberta."

These are my colleagues.



They have offered to take me out to rope calves, and then we are going to shoe horses. Apparently, that is how business gets done in Alberta! I will have to be sure to bring my spitoon.

See you Wednesday.

yads here!

yads' message to americans!

The Wilson Moot, 2006

Ah, yes, it's here again kids!

The big Wilson Moot 2006.

This young, attractive team from Queen's University has to be your hands down favourite, with inspiration coming from the scholarly guidance of Professor Kathleen Lahey (pictured above). Also undeniable has been the influence of chief researcher/irrepressible scamp Catherine Graham (pictured below). Graham's wily book smarts combined with Lahey's street fighting prowess make this year's K-Town contingent your team to beat.



Add to that the potential appearance of such Limestone City luminaries as Associate Dean Arthur Cockfield and legendary heartthrob Dave Suchon, and this has all the makings of a classic.

But remember, kids... What happens at the Wilson Moot, STAYS at the Wilson moot.

I am headed to Prince George on official business.

I am quite excited because I have never been to Prince George, or as it is more commonly known, "The Las Vegas of Northern British Columbia."



Mr PG was first constructed in 1960 as a symbol of the importance of the forest industry to Prince George. That year he took part in the Prince George May Day parade and could speak and bow. In 1961 he was entered in the Kelowna Regatta and the Vancouver PNE Parade and also traveled to Smithers. Two years later, he entered the 1963 Grey Cup parade.

Today Mr PG stands erect and silent at the junction of Highway 97 and Highway 16 but still welcomes all visitors to a Prince George that owes much to the forest industry.

Mr PG is 8.138 meters high, his head is 1.5 metres in diameter.

See you Wednesday.

Harlem vs. Open Sundaes Canucks, 9 pm, Burnaby

a brother never forgets.

this ain't nothing.

this is something

hit on the "the big finale" link when you get there.

eagles.

thanks be to the east coast for hosting us in epic fashion for the past ten days.
here's what we like about eagles.

1. their colour

2. the they way they soar.

3. their majesty.

4. what they stand for!

and also...

east coast vs. west coast

t- minus 24 hours to lift off.

Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards

As I sit here watching pairs rhythmic luge, I find myself yearning for a simpler time in Olympic history, a time when Eddie the Eagle captured our hearts and some serious air time.

Speaking of Olympic champions, I scaled the podium a couple of times at the Jolly Alderman last night. Drunk bar trivia may only be a demonstration sport this year, but I'll see you in Vancouver in 2010, bitches.

Harlem vs. Tigers Sunday @ 5:30pm North Shore

you know what that means...

bad news for the tigers, y'all.

RECALL DAVID EMERSON.

go to http://www.PetitionOnline.com/RDE/ and sign the petition.

please pass this on to all the democracy fans you know.

trois freres magnifiques!

yes, we are three brothers.

we dip our toes in the mighty pacific.

we make plays so beautiful that our opponents begin to weep.

apparently, we all work at 'medieval times' restaurant.

brotherly love is the greatest love of all.

meanwhile, up on brokeback...

like bogart and bacall, or brad and angelina, there is something here too powerful to ignore.

"ain't nobody's business but our own."

pretty girls.

oh yeah.